Burger infested sponger microorganisms: the ski resorts.

When it comes to spending money on a vacation, people, especially the wealthier part, lose their contiousness. It is literally taking candy from a baby from that point on. Whether it’s paying five hundred percent coverage for an appatizer plate that has been pulled out from a can or a guided tour for hundreds of euros, where you, if you have done a bit of homework, probably might know more about the whole thing then the guide, you really start to understand how easily people are pushed around.

I was having a blast living with a tour guide, who kept laughing about the same things. Take for example a reindeer farm tour that you can book for approx. ninety euros. People get packed in a bus that takes them more or less fifty kilometers to a “farm” that, wait for it, has only 2 reindeer. To someone who has never seen a reindeer up close, the arrival is probably the most exiting part of the tour. Because the tour guide is not a reindeer keeper, he has got nothing to tell to the people and even if he would like to, he doesn’t know shit about reindeers. Oh wait, the guides do not get any schooling for fauna or even local cultural basics what so ever. That is for all the guides to google themselves. What makes things worse, is the lack of communication ability from the farmer aswell. So there is 40 people standing quietly around two reindeer trying to pet them for ninety euros. Pretty easy money, hey?

One other tour that’s on the market is a near hundred and fifty euro ice fishing tour. Yes, it involves a snowmobile, but other than that, its paying for sitting on your ass in freezing temperatures without the slightest chance to catch a fish. Probably with a guide who thinks touching fish is a yucky thing to do and can’t name over a few fish that live there. Every local around knows, that it’s hard to catch fish during these months, so you can’t see anybody doing that on the lake. But tour are being sold by the numbers for the less knowledgeable just to be disappointed once more. But you get soup and a slice of bread. Sweet.

So for all of my fellow people out there, do proper research before booking any tours and activities over the world. Or if you plan on booking a shitty tour, then let me know, so I could give you my bank account and you could send me the money instead.

 

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With this blog post, I also declare burgers and pizzas to be the national foods of Lapland. I have never seen in my life that there is such a vast amount of burgers on the menus around the restaurants. And pretty much all of them offer pizza as well. It makes me really sad that the local cuisine takes a big hit with that, but it is easier to please foreign mouths with something familiar. Perhaps it’s because people are constantly drunk around here and everyone loves a good burger while tottering home late from the pub. Atleast I do. But do not see myself eating a full set of a la carte dishes while partying with my boys, so please serve that junk during late hours and don’t give people the option to choose burgers and pizzas over local spectacular cuisine during actual mealtimes.

So I guess the overall best value for money is what you actually came here to do, and that is skiing.

Nothing to be disappointed about.

Except your skills and once in a while the weather.

 

 

 

 

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